The passive American?

For a country where people usually beat around the bush before telling you what they actually want to say I find it strange that lately a lot of people are coming up to me to tell me what it is that I got to do. It has happened before but when it has happened in the past I used to not think of it much, I'd just say no or maybe do it or whatever. In any case it didn't seem to be much of a problem but lately people telling me what I got to do has become a lot more frequent. One of my friends told me before that one of the reasons why he tries to keep distance from everyone here is that because sooner or later they are just going to start to take advantage of you. Recalling what he said I'm beginning to think what he said was right. After all when you're friends you don't have to be shy but does that mean you don't have to show any courtesy as well? It seems like a strange phenomenon but in Asian countries I think this holds a little bit of truth. Though I don't think it's really a matter of a lack of courtesy per se but instead the result of when the passive Asian personality is being taken for granted.

Hmm, so if you feel like you're that person being taken for granted what do you do? One of my classmates recommends the use of a lot of explicatives. Now, in America immediately telling people off may be a common thing to do but in Asia that's not usually how it goes. The passive Asian will continue to put up with it even when they feel like they are being taken for granted. I'm not sure as to why. Maybe it stems from a desire to please or not to offend the other person. In any case the passive personality tends to let things build up before anything is done to put a stop to their grief. This is not a very good practice of course because when they get tired of having people stepping all over them and finally reach that point where they want to put their foot down, they usually want to put that foot down on the heads of other people.

Now you can ask me anything and asking me if I can do something for you is not a problem. I might not always give you the answer you're looking for though but hey it doesn't hurt to ask. However, when some one comes up to you and starts off by saying "Tally all these…" or "You are going to be this…" that's not asking. That's telling. No one likes to be simply told what to do. I know as sure as hell that many of my classmates don't like it either. Have you read Ray's blog lately? Anyway, I can understand the way they feel because if that person is not your boss, your mentor, the person that puts food on your table or provides a roof over your head it can come off a little disrespectful. And no one wants to feel like someone's personal little bitch.

So in case some of you didn't get it, don't come up to me anymore telling me this is what I got to f@#%!&* do without me agreeing to it or even asking me about it first.