Summer Break Flashback Part 4b: Boracay

In Boracay you can find many people offering a boat cruise around the island for less than ten bucks. In the Bay Area 10 bucks wouldn’t even be enough for you to get a round trip from Vallejo to San Francisco. So when we were given the opportunity for all seven of us to be shown around the island on a boat, we hopped to it. And so here goes the story of our three hour tour.

We sailed straight pass all the tourist on the beach to a little cove where a few other boats had already dropped anchor. Once we reached the other boats one of the guides then pulled out some snorkel gear and dropped it in front of him. We were told if we like we could jump in the water and try feeding the fishes. The offer may have seemed a little more enticing if the gear wasn’t lying right next to his crusty toes, and I didn’t know full well that those things have never been sanitized since the day he bought them... or maybe even longer. So I hesitated for a moment but then figured what’s a lifetime of herpes when you can go out there and feed a few tropical fish for a couple of minutes. I took the gear and jump in the water with one other foolish soul.

The water was crystal clear. I could see coral and several small colorful fish down below. The guide gave me a piece of bread and hundreds of fish began to swarm around me to grab a bite. Some of them I could see clearly as they paused to nibble on the bread but mostly of them were just a blur of colors, blue, yellow, orange, red, and black, darting in and out. It was something you only see on a documentary for National Geographic. It was amazing.

Then I felt it. A sharp sting on my left arm as if something was trying to crawl under my skin and after failing to see what it was I popped out of the water like a torpedo. As I was trying to tell every one on the boat what had happen I could start to feel my whole left flank and neck start to burn. I realized then it must have been a jellyfish but as the pain continued to worsen the guides repeatedly denied that there were any jellyfish in these waters. However, after the welts started popping up all over my body they must have realized it was pointless to continue on lying to me. Finally they admitted that there are jellyfish that inhabit these waters but they said they were only small ones and that the pain would go away in a couple of hours. Like the f*@# I was really going to believe those @$$#*!%$ after they so blatantly lied to me just seconds ago.

Now, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was living out another one of National Geographic’s documentaries but this one didn’t have that oooh, ahhh, amazing feeling. I recalled their special on a certain species of jellyfish, no bigger than the size of a quarter, living off the coast of Australia. Apparently these small jellyfish are amongst the most poisonous in the world and were responsible for killing a string of people off the Australian coast. I then began to wonder how close is the Philippines actually to Australia. From maps it doesn’t look that far. In any case it was way too close. I also realized that the jellyfish that stung me must have been really small since I didn’t even see it. Then I didn’t really know if the reason it was getting more difficult for me to breathe was due to the toxins of the jellyfish or my fears.

The rest of those who were with me on the boat asked me if I wanted to be pissed on, in order to somehow counter act the poison. Now, though it had gotten a little more difficult for me to breathe I knew what the answer to that would be right away… No way in hell. If I was gonna die, I was gonna die a man. Not as some dead fool who smelt like piss. And despite my splendid condition we ended up just continuing the rest of our trip. And after not a couple of hours but several hours later the pain and the welts finally started going away.

Now, I suppose the boat crew initially denied the presence of any jellyfish because it would obviously be bad for business if people were to know that jellyfish were stinging divers along the coast. But you know what? Screw them... Beware of the jellyfish!


Some of the welts still left on my arm after the boat ride.