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Ladies and gents our story begins with our author who one day packed up his bags to spend the next 5 years of his life on some tropical island far far away. This land is not like any place he has ever been to before. There is no telling of what he may encounter during his stay there but one thing is sure he is going to be in for one crazy adventure. And this is where you get to read about it.

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The stories told here maybe appear larger than in real life and at times may even appear outlandish. However, all actual events are in fact real (well, most of them). What may appear as a distortion of reality to some may only be due to the author's perspective of the actual events. Some say he is just not right in the head.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Christmas Shopping - Part 2: The Reality After Christmas

Marmie, what I was hoping to hear you say was "you don't need to get them anything". That's what my mom said. Well, she just said get gifts for the kids and my grandmother not every single person. Thanks for telling me now mom, after the fact. Maybe if you guys picked up the phone at the house once in a while you could have informed me about it earlier.

Ok, so from the sound of some people it seems like I may have gone a little over board with this Christmas shopping but when Filipinos in the States talk about Christmas here they always talk about it as if it is some great big event. Well I guess it is and in the States it is as well but from their stories it always seems to mean so much more here somehow. "Oh, Christmas in the Philippines yada, yada, yada..." I may have Filipino blood but I know nothing about the customs out here. Though I hardly ever say it in the States (Ain't that ironic? ) I'm an American. I didn't want to screw up on the biggest day of the year and end up being shunned for the rest of my stay here just because I made the mistake of not getting someone a gift. So I covered all my tracks and tried to get something for everyone.

I did take your advice Marmie and did get food. I appreciate your advice too but there are just so many families out here. To get them all something to eat isn't cheap. I was thinking about getting a small cake at first but these families aren't small. Filipinos love to procreate.

Anyway if I think about it, in the States I would be so lucky to get away with spending only this much even if all the gifts were just for the kids. There are a lot of little kids back home. And have you seen the prices of Spider-man figure these days? Don't think about getting some generic figure either like Man-spider or something. Kids in the States recognize that right away.

"This ain't no Spider-man uncle. Spider-man doesn't have four legs, he's a man."
"Oh that's because this is Man-spider."
"Who the heck is Man-spider?"

Yeah, so maybe it ain't that bad after all.

Well, it's not like I'm complaining about buying all these gifts... or am I? I mean, I understand it is Christmas! It's all about giving. It's not like all of my relatives out here are rolling in Benz's either. I'm not either but some of them aren't exactly all that well off and I am sure it would be nice to get something once in a while, especially at Christmas. I don't know if they're exactly expecting pound cake but hey it's something.

I also got a little something for the help. It wasn't much. The amount of money they have borrowed from me probably is more than what I spent on their gifts. Maybe I should have just told them to cancel their debts. Well anyway they don't really have much either and they do take care of me out here... sort of. At least they feed me even after I have already told them I don't want their food anymore.

Hey, at least I didn't follow Dale's advice and give out 500 pesos out to the guards, right? That would have been crazy, huh? There's hell of them out here. I would be in debt right now. I'll just defend myself.

...Ok, is it obvious yet that I'm just trying to make myself feel better about all this? Then again what's to feel bad about? Like I said it's Christmas! Another positive could be that I'll be saving my liver because I really don't have money for drinking anymore. Maybe I'll finally even be able to loose weight ‘cause I'm not sure if I'll have enough money to eat next month or for the rest of this week for that matter. Yeah that should do it.

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