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Ladies and gents our story begins with our author who one day packed up his bags to spend the next 5 years of his life on some tropical island far far away. This land is not like any place he has ever been to before. There is no telling of what he may encounter during his stay there but one thing is sure he is going to be in for one crazy adventure. And this is where you get to read about it.

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The stories told here maybe appear larger than in real life and at times may even appear outlandish. However, all actual events are in fact real (well, most of them). What may appear as a distortion of reality to some may only be due to the author's perspective of the actual events. Some say he is just not right in the head.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Attack of the cockroaches

I just walked in to my rest room and I can still smell the fumes of Raid in there. The can says it would dissipate in around 15 minutes. It's been over 2 days already! I wonder if they were talking about 15 for minutes for each spray? Then maybe it would make some since. I probably emptied out half the can in that restroom.

A few days ago I spotted a cockroach about 2 and half inches long in there. Instead of normally just stepping on it (they are not really that fast) I decide to pull out the Raid. I got him square on with a full blast and it didn't do anything. I must have sprayed him at least 5 times before he finally started slowing down and keeled over.

As I was chasing him around in my little square bathroom I discovered he wasn't alone. There was like a family of them, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces. They were coming out of the drain and a corner in the shower. It was like some sci-fi horror movie. And just like Anakin did the Sand-People in Episode II, "I killed them! I killed them all! They're dead, every single one of them!" Yeah, I'm a killer. Before you know it I'll probably end up becoming the Filipino Darth Vader.

As you have probably already deduced I used a lot of Raid in the process. Even up until yesterday the fumes were strong enough to knock out another cockroach that I saw lying on its back twitching. One thing that surprises me though is that after a few hours after I had started the massacre the ants went back in there like it was nothing. I on the other hand was still getting dizzy off the fumes just sitting at my desk. I probably lost a few layers of my cerebral cortex that day.

"There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you."


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