What's this about?

Ladies and gents our story begins with our author who one day packed up his bags to spend the next 5 years of his life on some tropical island far far away. This land is not like any place he has ever been to before. There is no telling of what he may encounter during his stay there but one thing is sure he is going to be in for one crazy adventure. And this is where you get to read about it.

What you say?


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Readers beware!

The stories told here maybe appear larger than in real life and at times may even appear outlandish. However, all actual events are in fact real (well, most of them). What may appear as a distortion of reality to some may only be due to the author's perspective of the actual events. Some say he is just not right in the head.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

A lesson in...

I got my shifting exam back for gross anatomy today. I managed to pass it but by just barely. As I sat there wondering how could I do so poorly I tried to recall what I did that night before the test to prepare for the exam. That was when I remembered I did absolutely nothing. That night before the exam, when I probably should have been studying one of my dorm mates was giving me a lesson on Filipino courtship. When she was thru I never knew I had so much to learn. It was such a wealth of information that I kind of forgot all about gross anatomy. So for the few of you out there wondering how to get your self a hot Pinay I'm here to share with you what I've learned in examination form.

Question:
So there is this fly Pinay you have been thinking about for sometime. When you see her in the hall you give each other a wave hello and exchange a smile. You may have even been successful enough to get her to join you at Jollibee's one day. However, you two don't really know each other that well but you got the feeling you would like to make her your girl. What do you do?

A. Continue to ask her out but remain cool without seeming to giddy over the fact that she has agreed to do so. This way you keep her guessing about your true intensions and she doesn't come to realize that she's probably the first girl to have ever agreed upon seeing you again who wasn't locked up in some cage.

B. The next time you see her you just be straight forward and ask her "how much will it cost for your services?"

C. The next time you see her you tell her how much you like her by letting all those emotions you have been bottling up in side just spill out. Then after doing so and recomposing your self to the best of your abilities you ask her "may I now court you?"

Answer:
C. – If this were the States, telling a girl how much you really like her "I like you, I like you a lot" would be considered a very big no-no it's perfectly fine here and in most cases the preferred way to start off your "courtship". If you were just try to wine and dine your way into the girl's heart with out actually telling her about your true intentions you could just be wasting your time. Before most Filipina girls are willing to get involved they are expecting you to "show them the money." I'm not I'm not talking in that prostitute kind of way. So answer B is out. (Then, again that's not unless you're the type to frequent the local gentlemen's clubs.) This way they now know that you are now willing to begin the trials.

Question:
Letting a girl know that you are really interested in them puts you in a bad position whether you're in the States, the Philippines or anywhere else. Even if she does decides to give you a chance by not telling you to hit the road right then and there. By confessing to her how you feel you have placed yourself at her mercy and have set things in motion that can't be stopped. You will now be put thru a trial. So as you attempt to prove that you can come thru her trial by fire unscathed what can you expect?

A. Things will not change much between you except for the fact that you will be required to spend more time and money on her. For example you will treat her to the movies and maybe dinner, buy her flowers and either call or text her at least once everyday. Then after one week (remember they are conservative) she will tell you that she loves you signaling the end of your trial.

C. You will be basically left up creek with no paddle to try and find your way into her heart. She wants to see how much you two were naturally meant to be or if you have e.s.p. Due to all the stress of trying to figure out how to please her because you obviously don't have e.s.p. or she's either putting up some kind of psychic force field, you will have to undergo major gastric bypass surgery.

B. The 'friendship' you have established with her will change drastically and you will now learn the true meaning of "turning a cold shoulder". Hey, it's you that said you like her, not the other way around. So it's up to you give her a reason to get with your looser ass and it better be good.

D. B & C

D. – Well it's definitely not A. 1 week? Psssh. I have heard stories of 1 to 2 years! Filipina girls are usually ultra conservative. So if you are going to court a girl expect to be in it for the long haul. Don't expect her to be all that warm to you while you are courting her either. Even if she did like you she can't let you tell you or even let you on about it. What makes her happy, what makes her sad will be all up to you to figure out on your own without even so much of a peep from her. (Never could figure out why girls everywhere do this. It's not like we are X-men and can actually read minds thru e.s.p. Gives us some kind of clue!) Eventually you will succumb to some sort of stress related disease but thanks to that third job you got to fund all expenditures you should be able to afford the cost of the surgery just in case she leaves you.

So you survived the trial and finally managed to woo your way into her heart. Congratulations on obtaining a girlfriend whom you probably don't even have one clue about. I mean her real personality probably isn't anything like what she has shown you while you were courting her, right? Well, at least you hope not.

Now I'll admit at times I like to take risk. I some how ended up in this country after all didn't I? However, I'm not that much of a gambler. If I can't see the light at the other end of the tunnel I'm not just gonna keep on walking hoping that it's actually there. I'm gonna turn back the other way around. I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm gonna stay single in the Philippines for a long time.

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