What's this about?

Ladies and gents our story begins with our author who one day packed up his bags to spend the next 5 years of his life on some tropical island far far away. This land is not like any place he has ever been to before. There is no telling of what he may encounter during his stay there but one thing is sure he is going to be in for one crazy adventure. And this is where you get to read about it.

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Readers beware!

The stories told here maybe appear larger than in real life and at times may even appear outlandish. However, all actual events are in fact real (well, most of them). What may appear as a distortion of reality to some may only be due to the author's perspective of the actual events. Some say he is just not right in the head.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Silly thieves

At approximately 9:45 pm two men walked into the internet shop asking to use two of their computers. After a few minutes surfing the internet the two men stood up, one brandishing a hand gun and the other man a knife as they demanded the shop owner's purse. The two men were then proceeded to flee from the scene of the crime on foot with the shop owner's purse. This all occurred as a guard stationed just out side the shop sat at his post complete unaware of what was going on.

Bah! All they got was a purse? Silly thieves. If I was them this is what I would have done. First I would have gotten the store owner to lock the front door to her shop. I would then proceed with her thru the backdoor of her shop which leads straight to the dormitory I'm staying in now. Once in the dormitory I would have the other guy watch her to keep her mouth shut as I went to the front entrance of the dormitory and lock it as well. Now the dormitory would be completely sealed off. As all the students sat in their rooms either studying or proceeding to sleep I would then begin to rob them one by one going from room to room. I would corral my latest victim into a single room with the shop owner and all the other students I had previously robbed, where my companion could watch over them. I would stash the most valuable of their things into 4 or 5 of their own school bags which I and my partner could easily walk away with. Once I had finished with that I would barricade off the room I had them all corralled into. I could probably do that by setting the door of the room they're in on fire. Seeing as how you can't really open any of these windows wide enough to fit thru this would prevent anyone from running out right away and alerting the guards. No one would see the smoke as the sky is already dark and no one would notice the fire either, especially if the room was on the first floor as the walls of the building prevent anyone from looking into the dormitory grounds. Don't worry about a conviction for murder, as long as the students stay away from the door none of them should get toasty in the fire. Besides the doors everything here is made out of concrete. Me and my partner could then walk out calmly thru the front door of the internet shop once again and make our get away with all their stuff.

Sheesh, just a purse? Amateurs. I would have at least gone up to rob that AM boy blind. Anyhow, now you know and knowing is half the battle.

...On second thought maybe you should forget everything you just read.


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