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Ladies and gents our story begins with our author who one day packed up his bags to spend the next 5 years of his life on some tropical island far far away. This land is not like any place he has ever been to before. There is no telling of what he may encounter during his stay there but one thing is sure he is going to be in for one crazy adventure. And this is where you get to read about it.

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Readers beware!

The stories told here maybe appear larger than in real life and at times may even appear outlandish. However, all actual events are in fact real (well, most of them). What may appear as a distortion of reality to some may only be due to the author's perspective of the actual events. Some say he is just not right in the head.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Mutants from the deep

I didn't have time to write about this earlier but since I have time now...

A couple of days ago the water in my sink was draining kind of slow. I ended up pouring some build-up remover in there but wasn't quite getting the result that I was hoping for. The situation called for the use of heavy equipment, so I broke out the plunger. After a few pumps some debris came up along with some other things...


Need a closer look? Here was one all alone...

Ain't she a beaut!

These things were crawling every where. What they are exactly, I'm not sure. At the moment I didn't even care. I poured in more build-up remover, some ajax, and two other liquid detergents. It was all I had. I rinsed them down with some water and watched them swim in the little tide pool. After a couple of minutes I noticed they weren't even fazed. They didn't even break stride while swimming. After the water disappeared they continued crawling out of the drain. At this point I realized that I wasn't dealing with ordinary creatures. These were some kind of mutants, like that big rat with his four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was actually waiting for those things to speak to me. "Go ahead big boy, is that all you got? Hell, if we can survive crawling up your asshole we can take anything you throw at us here." Damn, son of a bitch. I hope those little bastards aren't parasitic. That could help explain my constant stomach cramps, though.

I'm starting to question how long I will be able to survive out here.

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