The final stretch

I can't study here in my dorm or maybe it's just that I don't want to study here. I know I have mentioned this before and actually I'm getting tired of writing about it but even more so I'm getting tired of trying to struggle with it. The funny thing is that when I was at my friend's house in Manila, sitting there in front of the TV while reading my biochemistry class I felt like the stuff was actually seeping in to my head more so than any other time that I have been trying to study here in my cell. So I don't know if it's the distractions here or just the environment. At this point I think it's almost psychological. I know I didn't exactly like it when I first came here but I never thought that I would have to like it here either. I guess coming to hate it here though was a different matter.

In all fairness some other things have gotten better or maybe I've just gotten more used to them. If there has been garbage in front of my door for the past three days because no one has bothered to come to pick it up and the cats have now scattered everything about I don't well on it. I just ignore it. When I find something extra on my plate I just push it aside or eat around it. I have also come to realize that asking people to do things around here is pointless so I have been saving more of my time by just doing things my self. Like changing my broken door handle. When I do get a chance to finally move in to that other dorm room they have been promising to me since last October I know I will have to be the one replacing the broken door knob and also the dirty torn-up toilet seat as well but I have accepted that... well kind of.

I got one just more quarter left to see how things go. To see if things change or if they stay the same. To see if there is still a reason for being here.