What's this about?

Ladies and gents our story begins with our author who one day packed up his bags to spend the next 5 years of his life on some tropical island far far away. This land is not like any place he has ever been to before. There is no telling of what he may encounter during his stay there but one thing is sure he is going to be in for one crazy adventure. And this is where you get to read about it.

What you say?

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Readers beware!

The stories told here maybe appear larger than in real life and at times may even appear outlandish. However, all actual events are in fact real (well, most of them). What may appear as a distortion of reality to some may only be due to the author's perspective of the actual events. Some say he is just not right in the head.

Friday, March 31, 2006


So the nightmare of first year medicine is finally over. In just a few more days I'll find my self sitting on a plane heading back home. But until then there's the task of buy everyone back home souvenirs. Joy, joy, joy.

So that's what I and my guide, (Who shall remain nameless because of the fear of prosecution. The poor girl gets teased enough when ever we are seen together. ), set out on a 12 hour tour to do in Manila's bargain district.

We first started out our little adventure in Tutuban mall and then headed over to Cluster mall and the Divisoria. The places were crowded. Out on the streets it kind of reminded me of those movie scenes where the good guy is chasing some bad guy through a crowded Asian market place. The stalls are packed together almost as tightly as the people walking by. Just about anything you want is for sale, well except for the wooden slippers that my little cousin's wanted me to get, but they had just about everything else and it was all so cheep too. They were selling Rolex, Tag, and Omega watch brands for only around $30. They also had Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Burberry, and Coach wallets and bags going around for less than $10.

Can you believe that? In the States you could spend hundreds and even thousands of dollars on these things but for less than a hundred bucks you can walk away with more bling than what Paris Hilton would normally sport. Yeah, I know what you are thinking. Something is definitely wrong about this. We're getting ripped off buying that stuff in the States people.

As we left the Divisoria to head over to the other shopping center, Quiapo, we decided to ride a kalesa. The kalesa is a small single horse driven carriage big enough to sit two people and the driver. It was the first mode of transportation in Manila. Even though the Manila streets don't look anything like back when the Spanish first arrived the ride had a rustic awe to it as we navigated through the crowded streets with plenty of on lookers. You would think that it would be my guide who sat there giddy with excitement but no it was I. (Hey, it was my first time so lay off. ). Anyway that was until the jeepni's started blowing exhaust in our faces. It was cool though. At least an experience to remember.

In Quiapo you could find some of things that you wouldn't normally find in an average mall, things that pertain to the supernatural. All around there were vendors who could sell you potions for solving matters such as love and ones that could even take care of any problems that may arise if the love potion works a little to good, if you know what I mean. We also found this one elder lady selling amulets called anting-anting. Shaped like old bronze relics, they are supposed to poses special protective powers. I bought one that is to protect the bearer from evil spells, because you can never be too sure when some evil witch is going to try casting a hex on you. I also bought another one which looks to be for protection from pedophiles. Hey, I couldn't give everyone the same one.

By the time me and my nameless guide were done searching thru the hundreds of stalls we were dead tired. And you know through out the whole time we were shopping, or maybe I should say I was shopping, I don't think she bought a single thing for her self. Oh, wait she did buy herself dinner and mine too when we went to Wendy's. (Yup, they got that here too, with biggie fires, biggie drink and biggie everything ). Yeah... Well, it's not like I asked her to pay for my meal. In fact I wanted to pay for hers just to pay her back in some way for showing me around but she wouldn't have it.

She's just kind of that way though. Through out my entire stay on this island she has been one of nicest and sweetest girls I've met. And even after hearing all the crazy stories about Filipino women and even having some of my own personal experiences she's someone who could still actually make you want to go out and look for a pinay who's just like her. Well, that was until we started eating. Let's just say after hearing about chocolate pudding with ketchup and bubble gum with wrappers I'm having second thoughts. It might be in my best interest just to not to even bother looking for anyone out here and just remain single.

Then again as I'm sitting here picking the blacken snot out of my nose and reading her text messages threatening to kick my ass, I don't want to make her out to sound too bad. After all that she went thru a lot just to show me around. That has still got to count for something right? So how about we say 30% of her is concentrated sweetness and the other 70% you just better watch out for.

Thank you my nameless guide for showing me around. I just want to let you know I really appreciated the time you gave up for me.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Been trying for the past two days to reserve a flight back home but I haven't been able to get a hold of anyone. None of the numbers for this airline company or for the ticket agency that my parents supposedly got the ticket from are active in Manila. Not even the ones on their website work. It says on the ticket to call in to reserve your flight, but how the hell do you do that? Makes you wonder what kind of company this really is. I could understand why some little shop on the corner around here doesn't have a phone line but an "international" airline without an office phone line? Did someone forget to pay the bill?

This traveling coconut dealer has a business line but Cathay Pacific doesn't.

Maybe this is a sign. Yes, I see it now. It's all coming together... This whole idea about coming to the Philippines for med school was just an evil plot to dispose of me!

Unnamed Parent: "Oh, there's nice beaches where you'll be going."

Unnamed Parent: "A lot of celebrities like vacationing there also."

Unnamed Parent: "And don't worry if you don't know the language because all you're professors will be speaking to you in English."

Unnamed Parent: "If you don't like it there you can come back anytime. It's an open date ticket."

After, those first three lines of bulls#!& I should have known the rest was going to be the same. They probably didn't think I would still be alive until now but I am. Just got to figure out some way back to the States now. There's no way I can walk. Maybe I could swim. ...

Gonna try one last time to call this so called airline company, using their number in the States. So I went out and bought a calling card earlier today because I know it's going to be one expensive call. I was already having a shitty day too and the lady stiffs me on my change. It was only P10 ($.20) but it was the principle of it all. I've been there several times before and I know how much the card cost. The difference this time was that I actually had to speak, in stead of just point. I tried to ask her where my change was but she just smiled and told me I didn't have any. That's f@#$*%-up. Why do we foreigners got to be such a mark out here? I should have grabbed her by neck as she lied to me in my faced but I just walked away.

One of these days though, someone is going to piss me off and I'm not going to be able to just walk away. And then that person is just going to have a shit load of pent-up frustration unloaded on them.

"This is for the jeepni driver that took my 20 pesos, the burger stand lady that charged me double, and that @*#$ who didn't give back my 10 pesos."

Yeah, I'm really loving it out here, even all the way up to the very end.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

How otay is it to be OTay?

For some reason my moms reads the things I write here. (That's why I can talk about all of things I do out here. Like that time me and my cousin smoked all that crack and started chasing pink rabits around the campus for the next three days. Just playing, mom. Crack is bad. ) Anyways, so she read my last post and sent me this e-mail about what kind of OTay doctor I'll end up being if I depend on them OT's.


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

You know mom I'm gonna probably end up being like that anyway.

So this brings up the question, "how otay is it to be OTay?" Maybe I didn't answer that good enough earlier so here goes.

Like I said getting an OT from someone involves a lot of secrecy. Transactions happen fast and discrete or when no one is simply around. Makes you feel like you're in some kind of Mission Impossible flick or like you're out on the streets slinging crack. Take you pick. Either way you get the impression you are doing something you aren't supposed to be doing. But why? Well, if you are not part of this person's frat you might be breaking the frat rules and this person may get in trouble for doing it. So is that the reason for all the secrecy? Well, maybe not exactly.

Yes, the students don't want the professors to know that they got them too. I'm not really sure why, though. I'm sure that these professors must know that there is bound to be one of their OT's floating around someplace, especially if they have been giving the same test for the past five years! Remember the "O" is for old. It doesn't mean someone had to actually sneak in to some teacher's office to get a copy of it. Even so you still have to keep it out of their view and not only that but you're not supposed to perfect the exam if you got an OT. One of my classmates got a perfect on one of the last test and some people are giving him crap for it but why? If you read the books and then look over an OT's aren't you just doing what you're supposed to? So if you get 100% what's wrong with that? Isn't that the goal? Maybe it's because the professors might be tempted to not be so lazy and write up a new test the next time around to actually test your knowledge of the subject. Then again what's wrong with that?

So I'm not sure as to exactly why getting an OT from some one really bugged me before. Part of it might have been because I felt like it gave me such an advantage over others, though I'm starting to see that a lot of the times I was the one at the disadvantage. Having an OT, however, is not a guarantee that you got in your hand what will exactly be on the next. Though, it is pretty close to it some times. It also doesn't guarantee you have the right answers. You would be surprised to find out how many of the answers are actually incorrect on most of these exams and I'm not talking about the students making mistakes but the professors with their corrections. Kind of makes you wonder about the quality of the education you're paying for out here. Anyways, what this all means is that you still got to study. Or at least you should.

If you do, however, decide not to open a single book and solely depend on the chance you're going to get another OT you kind of take a gamble. Not only that, there is a chance you'll be learning the wrong facts. One of my classmates has tried to justify putting down the wrong answers marked correct on the OT's but I can't agree with his justification. When you are simply memorizing answers from OT's you are cheating. That's plain and simple. There is nothing to it, you're cheating yourself. Then again there's no real crime against that. Is there?

People cheat themselves all the time, in more ways than one, and it's not some thing that depends on whether you have an OT or not. So it's nothing new and I ain't trying to preach about why people shouldn't be doing it now. So, what people are going to do with their OT's I don't care too much about. There is one thing though, don't come up to me bragging about how well you did on some test or go talking smack to me about some other person who didn't do as well as you did. I don't want to hear about it. Having OT's definitely give you a huge advantage, especially over those people who don't have one.

As for my personal conundrum I don't think it is so much because I actually had some OT. I've never memorized just the answers. Even though, I've felt like I've been cheating my self throughout most of this year. Somewhere along the line I've lost my enthusiasm, for one reason or the other. I don't want to be here right now. I'm just hanging on trying to get this school year over with. Next year it can't be like this. There would be no point in coming back. I'd just be wasting my time.

Anyway, on to another topic here's something else I got in my email box today from my cousin. Sorry, ladies it's only for the guys. It's a pic of some exposed celebrity. Can you guess who? Click here.