And the award for best melodramatic actor...

Well, today was scheduled to be our much anticipated showdown with the doc since we turned in the letter. Apparently the administration at the institute I attend didn’t see much of a problem with the way he treated us. Two of the doctors here told us straight up that they didn’t see what the complaint was about at all. Apparently they feel it’s the right of every teacher here to refer to his students as bitches at least once. So at the most the admins here probably just gave him a slap on the wrist and told him “You’re a naughty doc. Now, go run along and play nice.” Anyway, seeing as how he basically got off scott free we were expecting a little more of the same from the good ol’doc.

However, after walking in an hour and half late, one hour earlier than usual, to much of our surprise he calmly took a seat in the back and asked for the papers of the reporters for that day. Then 2 hours later after all the reporters were done, except for Bambi who managed to get out of reporting yet once again, he stepped to the front of the class to tell us (queue in the melodramatic music)... his side of the story. The side that we failed to see. The side of man who truly cared for us...

...Ok, seriously I have thought of several ways about how to write on what he said but I just can’t seem to think of a good way to do it. Honestly the way he stated all the reasons behind his actions to make him look like the victim in all of this was just too good and could never be out done. I mean some of the girls in class told me they wanted to cry afterwards. It was Filipino melodramatics at its finest. You know the kind of shit that doesn’t make any kind of sense but at the same time can make others reach for the tissue box. Personally I just wanted to gag and thinking about it even now makes me want to hurl. But just to fill you all in on what the doc had to say I’ll try to hold it in...

According to doc everything that he has been doing was all for our best interest. This includes the derogatory name calling and the coming to class three and a half hours late. You see he explained that as we continue our studies in medicine there will be a lot of people who will insult us and even those who will do worse. By calling us puneta and blurting out putang ina mo (your mother is a whore) he was just trying to prepare us now for what we will eventually face. It wasn’t because he was mad because there were 4 people absent in class. (Or maybe it was? I’m not really sure anymore.) Anyway, the reason he wants us to believe, is that he did it because he cared. Yeah, I guess he could have just told us that there will be these kind of people but by being that @$$#*!& himself he makes the experience all that more real for you, that’s compassion. Now if only you dad had that much compassion when he told you to watch out for those bullies at school who may try to beat you up and take your lunch money.

You see all this time he just wanted to be our friend. He invited (or made us resume class) in his house to eat and have a good time. (Never mind the part of how he hoped to get one of us in bed with him. That’s just a minor detail anyway.) He came to class three and an half hours late to give us time between classes. (Just a little side note doc if you really wanted to make it look like you came to class late all those times for our benefit I wouldn’t also mention that you came in at that time because that’s what they told you in your contract. It makes whatever is the real reason sound a little iffy.) All this time he was trying to make that effort to get close to us and none of us was making the effort in return. (Though knowing your prof may want to sleep with you while you’re straight seems like a logical enough reason for me not to try to get too close. I don’t know what the excuse is for you girls, though.)

We were a disappointment. We failed to show compassion to person who was not just asking it from us but demanding it. Maybe it’s because like he said we are just children who can’t see the bigger picture. We are still that child who would storm out of a room over the littlest thing like not having a projector ready. (Ok, maybe not that child.) Anyway, as children he sought not just to be our friend but also to be a father figure. (By the way kids if your dad is referring to you as bitch every day you are probably not in a very good place right now. And if your dad is also trying to sleep with you, you might want to call 911 right about now.) But we eventually betrayed him and so in the end it was he who was the real victim for caring too much about us when we didn’t care enough for him.

Seriously this guy needs some help. One of the points he tried to stress is that we should be consistent. He should take his own advice. My parents have never referred to me as a bitch and not one of my friends has ever spoken to me in the way that he has. I’m not sure were he gets his idea of how to be a friend or a father figure from but maybe he should try to reanalyze what the real definition of those terms mean.

Climbing the ladder

One of the strange things here in the Philippines is the contradictions. In this country 2 times the people have managed to rally together to take down a president. However, there is still this prevalent air that most people have that nothing can be done when we are offended by our so called “superiors”. These so called superiors demand respect but don't give it. The so called underlings talk of how they have no such right to treat them that way but don't do anything about it except take it day in and day out.

I've read some place before that there is a silent hierarchy here in the Philippines. And people here know where they belong on that pecking ladder. So when someone higher up on that ladder offends the guy below typically he won't do anything about it because of the fear of falling off. After all there is not much room on a ladder for you to move out of the way if the guy above decides to step on your head. And for the same reason that's why those higher up on the ladder usually always stay higher up and you're only left with a view of their rear.

So in a sense I can understand maybe why some people would be scared. But then again to me that's a rather sad way to live your life, sniffing the ass of someone else. And besides in reality there is no ladder! Yes, in this country it may be more true than anywhere else that those on top will always stay on top. And if you attempt to fight back there is that chance you may end up getting the worse end of it. However, there is still always that guarantee that if you don't attempt to fight back you will just continue to be stepped on.

So though yesterday I had no clue as to what the ass was saying. Today I'm writing a letter to the dean about it. However, I don't know why when some shit goes down here people think that I alone should do something about it. This time it's not going to work that way because I know just how ridiculous I would come out looking like if I tried to make a stand on this issue by myself? Just about as ridiculous as everyone else bending over to take it in the ass by the good old doc again. The only way anything is going to be done about this, is if WE make a stand TOGETHER.

Puñeta, puñeta, puñeta

Two and half hours later he finally walks in the door. With all his ranting of how he rather not be a teaching and how he's only doing this as a "favor" I wonder why he even comes in at all. Just by look on his face you can already tell he's not in a good mood. Then after a couple looks around the room he begins his tirade. For the next half hour all he is saying is bla, bla, bla, puñeta, bla, bla, bla, tanga, bla, bla, bla, puñeta....puñeta...puñeta..puñeta. It looked obviously to me he was mad but I really didn't understand what he was saying. And I didn't get why he would be so mad either. So a few students were absent, big deal. After all he did say he didn't care if you showed up to his class or not just as long as you pass. So, I just kind laughed it off to myself. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Later on I came to learn what puñeta means is somewhere along the line of your mother is a bitch. Furthermore I learned that the mothers he was referring to was ours in class. Ours? And I thought he was mad because people were absent obviously all of us sitting in class weren't absent. I have never in my life have been so belligerently insulted by a professor in my life. No matter what he thinks we did to offend him gives him no right to be saying shit to us like that. I'm surprise though that my classmates took it so well. If I had known what he was saying I would have walked out. Actually let's just say that would have been the most rational thing I would have done.

I really don't get the never of this guy. First of all if anyone should be mad it should be us. He constantly comes in to class two or more hours late and when he gets there all he does is complain. Saying that he is either sick or how he doesn't want to be teaching. If his life is shit he should be taking out on us. He should go see a f*&#@!^% shrink.

Right now I can feel that tightness in my chest. And I want to go break something but I'm out in public right now so people could end up looking at me a little weird. Anyway, thing that really bother's me the most is not what he said. When people curse at you and you don't know what they are saying it is usually more funny than offense. What upsets me the most is that I feel like I'm wasting my time here. I'm tired of having crap ass teachers show up 3 hours late only to hear about their bullshit shit story and then have them teach you absolutely nothing. That is not what I came here for or what I'm paying for. I know it is cheaper to than going to school in the States but it's not that cheap. And what I hate most off all is wasting the money. My parents and grandmother are giving me a lot of money just to be here, but for what?

I'm just waiting for that moment I finally give up all hope and realize that this is all just a waste of time.